I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
