it glows. i had to have it.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
