Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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