Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
What did we do last night that was yellow?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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