Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
