she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
