we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
