Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
