If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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