i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
