it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
