Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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