if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
