But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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