My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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