I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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