Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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