he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize