Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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