Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
