Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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