you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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