Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
