We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
