oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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