Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
