So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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