You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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