maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
