I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
