Its about making memories worth repressing
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
you inspire me to be a worse person
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
