$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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