Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I think people are normalizing furries
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
