I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
