Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
