woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
