So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
