some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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