Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
