I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
