The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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