He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm getting married
To pizza
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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