So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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