that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
