So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
