Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
