Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
