Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He passed out mid-signature
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
