yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
