Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
