i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
