and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize