mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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