If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I lost the right to judge tonight
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
