my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
