you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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