Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize