this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
