Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
His hands were made for my vagina.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
