Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
