Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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