do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
