She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
